Something Like You and I by Yareth Vergara

This is an example of why people do not take self-published authors seriously. The number of errors and formatting issues were prevalent throughout the entire text, interrupting the flow and causing me, the reader, to wonder what the author was trying to convey; or, at the very least, how it was she was trying to convey her meaning. I felt as if I were reading something written by an inexperienced child who merely threw together a string of sentences without thinking through the purpose of her writing.  This one sentence can demonstrate nearly everything that is incorrect with this author’s writing technique, although it isn’t the only example I provide:

• I turned around, and remove my ear buds frowning ready to complain, but almost immediately my expression changed when I saw Dylan’s face, he looked very uncomfortable.

1.  Writing is choppy.

• Having to pack for the whole summer sucks! I just wanted to crawl back to bed and stay there for the rest of the weekend. I began to regret not packing the night before. I’ve always hated packing.

2. Errors in mechanics. Again, I only provided a few examples, as there were simply too many instances throughout the text.
 

• Excessive tense jumping makes for a difficult read. I supplied an example from the first chapter. I didn’t denote all of them since there were just too many.
  • I didn’t really care about the rest of those people, even if they are my family
  • I turned around, and remove my ear buds

• Missing punctuation or incorrectly used punctuation throughout:  
  • My sister Erica on the other hand has never had trouble being social, and making new friends it’s a piece of cake for her…
  • I knew it was the perfect time to talk to her it’s now or never, I thought.
  • downstairs. “Is everyone ready!?”
  • Of course she would never let me stay here by myself how stupid am I?

3. Dialogue formatting incorrect:

• “Mom, I need to talk to you,” I said, as I was making my way into the kitchen. She was pouring herself some coffee, it was very early. “What do you need honey?” She asked. “Mom, I want to stay, please,” I begged. She frowned, but I continued.

 
Unfortunately, this author’s writing shows a lack of experience with the written word. There are so many errors that reading it is a trial. The dialogue, incorrectly formatted, is childish and the overall story lacks cohesion. This is an instance in which the author should seek out an editor to correct the myriad errors. In its current condition, I cannot recommend anyone read it.

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